When Plenty is Too Much
Here’s how I'm using my hand, head, and heart this month to continue to be the quirky family that has enough.
May was topsy turvy. I started writing my May post back in April and got caught up in the energy of the season. Change was everywhere. In the weather. In the plants. In the more than human beings. In relationships.
Our oldest came home from her first year away at college. May became all about discovering the new rhythms associated with her return. Those new rhythms, while absolutely welcomed, changed my steps throughout each day. I got to rediscover what it was like to have her home again and how our relationship fit into the day. Inevitably, there were shifts in how I spent my time.
One thing remained consistent, my day begins at my altar. I have a jar of random words on my altar. Words for reflection, words for inspiration. Recently I pulled a word out of the jar that I has been with me since - PLENTY.
When our children were young, they found themselves visiting friends homes for sleepovers and get-togethers. They discovered friends had homes that were smaller and some way bigger than our own. Its so interesting to me that at young ages they recognized and began to calibrate those differences, seeking to make meaning for themselves.
We have always been the family that’s a bit different. Not finger pointing different. Quirky different. You have to be invited in before you begin to see the difference. No microwave, for example. That was a big one for our children’s friends to wrap their heads around. In fact, just last night the oldest had to teach a friend how to warm up a croissant without a microwave (ummm, the oven…..).
Being what our oldest calls an “ingredient family” was also a big difference that she found herself having to explain to her friends. We don’t have processed food around. (Yes, since I wrote this sentence I have learned that she did not make up the phrase. If you haven’t heard it before just take a spin on the internet). These things, the microwave and the food choices, make sense to our kids. They can easily explain them. The house, that seems a bit harder.
We live in the house I grew up in. There is a bit of sentimentality to that, if I am completely honest, but more than that, it is a decision that was made purposefully. A decision to live in an inner beltway suburb, in an older house, with just the space we need - bed rooms for each kid, room for a big dog, and space for a garden.
Every once in a while, something goes sideways, usually something plumbing related. We manage it the best we are able and have amazing plumbers. Recently, when the bathroom sink decided to have difficulty, and the kids became frustrated, I found myself reminding them that our house is 83 years old and that we need to extend a bit of grace and understanding to her. They seemed to get that.
Good & Plenty Candy
We have plenty. When I say “we have plenty,” I mean we have enough, what we need. It’s almost said like a justification. Why don’t you have a microwave - we don’t need one, we have plenty of ways to heat up leftovers. My working definition of plenty is, having what we need without over reaching. May be we still have more than plenty. Is plenty the same as enough? Plenty compared to what? Is plenty sustainable? This word seems so full and so big.
When I think of plenty the first thing that comes to mind is Good & Plenty; yup, the candy. Good & Plenty is one of the oldest branded candies in the USA, created in 1893. As a child of the late 1960s and 1970s I can remember going to the movie theatre and seeing the pink, black, and white box in the concession case, and its still around today. In fact, I saw it at the grocery market yesterday.
Why was “plenty” in the name of this licorice candy? “Good” makes complete sense — yummy, tasty, etc. a quality of the candy — but “plenty” makes a distinction about the candy. Plenty compared to what?
“The English town of Pontefract is reportedly the birthplace of the bittersweet candy. In 1760 a pharmacist supposedly added sugar to a cough medicine containing licorice root to make it more palatable, and manufacturers began cranking it out in the mid-1800s (The Twisted History of Licorice).” Demand for licorice rose throughout the 1800s and Quaker City Confectionery Company wanted to distinguish its candy from others.
According to oldtimecandy.com, “the candy's name was inspired by a play on words, with ‘Good’ representing the quality of the candy and ‘Plenty’ referring to the generous amount of licorice flavor.” Plenty in this case wasn’t just enough, it was a “generous amount,” something more than just enough.
Plenty, Over the Years
The Oxford English Dictionary definition of plenty states:
a full or ample amount, a sufficiency, more than enough; (more widely) a large number or quantity, a great deal.
I was talking to a woman the other day who told me that she has a 12-year old grandchild with so many clothes that she fills up three closets. Now granted, many of those clothes are ones that have been handed down and passed on because that is what we do when our children are young. We pass clothes on to each other, we share, we make sure the clothes live multiple lives because our children out grow them so fast. But, what is plenty?
In our neighborhood, where houses were built between the late 1920s and the early 1940s, a common complaint is that the closets are too tiny because they are 2.5 feet deep and 4.5 feet long. Is that plenty - an ample and generous amount? It feels like it should be plenty. It feels like it should hold the entirety of what we need it to hold. It did for the people at the time the houses were built. I remember points in my journey with this house where it did not seem like plenty.
My closet, as a teenager in this house, was plenty. My dresser held most things so my closet was more for long term storage.
When I was 22 years old living on Smith Island I didn’t even have a closet. Plenty was defined by having my sleeping bag, face wash, moisturizer, a loofah and brush, couple pairs of clothes I was really comfortable in and could layer for warmth, two pairs of beloved shoes - one for the wet and one for everything else, a water bottle, sunglasses, my journal, and enough food to burn the energy I needed during the day.
As an adult, when I was teaching in the schoolhouse that I had to be able to wear something different every day — versus my dear husband who can wear the same suit 2 or 3 times a week. Part of this is because I have a memory of a teacher being given grief by students because he wore the same thing more than once and the students felt like they could predict his choice for each day. I’m sure that it wasn’t as dramatic as the memory but it was real enough to me that it stayed with me as I became a teacher. My closet did not feel like plenty at that time.
Now that I am retired and living a very different life at a very different pace, my closet is plenty again. All of those work clothes have moved on to other lives and I have more of a uniform of favorites that I wear. I wear clothes I love and feel comfortable in and can mix and match. I have more than enough space in my closet.
Modernity makes it easy to have more than enough though.
Car — I grew up in a family with one car, now we have two. Most of the driveways in my community have at least one SUV, small, medium, or large.
House — My college roommate grew up in a family of five kids and two parents in a three bedroom house. Her parents had one room, all of the girls were in one room, and all of the boys were in one room. Compared to my family of two parents and two kids in a three bedroom house —parents in one room and each kid in their own room. Many houses in my community have four bedrooms and three bathrooms, and if they don’t have them when purchased, additions and renovations occur so that they soon do.
Streaming services — I have a friend whose family subscribes to one streaming service at a time and we subscribe to multiple. Yesterday I counted 29 streaming subscriptions available on our television.
Storage — Our attic is full of insulation and our garage is a work-out area. Our only storage is a small back corner of our basement. Yet, the number of storage units I see being built in our state continues to rise. And, so many people I know have them. Our small state of Maryland is home to 500 self-storage facilities that offer more than 24,187,316 million square feet of storage space. That’s 4.08 square feet of storage space for every man, woman, and child and that’s less than the national average of 5.4 square feet per person (The State of Self Storage in Maryland)!
Plenty Isn’t the Goal
My understanding of and experience of plenty has shifted as I have aged. At times, there are less things, at other times I have gathered more. When I think of plenty and enough in relation to others, I know that my experience is disproportionate to the experience of many. Some may even say luxurious. Privileged.
And it is, right? I live in a country that is the single largest contributor to global excess resource use. High-income countries like the USA are the primary drivers of the global ecological breakdown. These countries are responsible for 74% of global excess material use, driven primarily by the USA’s 27% . (Lancet Planet Health 2022; 6: e342–49.)
I suspect that most people in the community where I am rooted do not consider how decisions such as car, house, streaming services, storage facilities, and the like impact our planet, much less do they wake up each day thinking how they can do more damage. They are just living their lives the best they know how in a way that makes them content or happy within a culture of easier and bigger. Yet, the daily stress and loss on the web of life is real.
Increasing numbers of people are unable to meet their basic needs. There is massive global biodiversity loss and devastating climate change. An insatiable drive for resources and consumption has led to increased pollution and waste. Lifestyle decisions are placing our Earth and each other in grave danger. It is not enough to look at my actions in isolation, the lens must be through the lives of others, human and more than human.
Self-awareness is the first step and then mobilizing oneself for action. This need to lessen my impact isn’t new for me. It is a life-long process of listening, feeling, learning, and action. Delving deeper into my consumerism. Minimizing toxins and waste in our home. Endeavoring to loosen my entanglement with gigantic companies and the industrial economy. Connecting to wildness and listening to what the wild shares with me. (Other posts that speak to this: The Ocean and Me, Lotus #2 - Place/Community)
My consumer weaknesses are books and herbs. All books are fair game in my reading world. Cookbooks. Children’s books. Fiction. Nonfiction. Books about knitting. Books about herbs. Books about art. Books about science. I’ve managed to get books under control by using the library and passing on books to others as I downsize. I like the idea that each book has a journey and I am one step in its journey as it passes from person to person.
While I want to know about all of the herbs, I now focus only on the ones that call to me, the ones that I can propagate, and the ones that are native to my ecoregion. I have found a way to have enough of each.
I still have a long way to go before my footprint on this Earth is sustainable. I continue to expand into who I authentically am and why I’m here. I continue to shed ways of being and continuously renew my love of this Earth and my commitment to living on this Earth in a way that honors and supports all of us. I know that there is still more action for me to take. It’s not just about minimizing environmental impacts, it’s also about improving well-being for all.
The most compassionate and respect-filled action I can take is to lighten. To lighten my way of being. To lighten my impact on the world. To lighten my choices. Because I am able to make that choice. And, with that choice comes tremendous responsibility. That is one of the reasons I am continually thinking and writing about my place in the world and my impact in the web of life — it is perpetually on my mind and heart.
Pulling “plenty” from my jar of random words took me down an unexpected path. Interrogating this word “plenty” for myself has led to a deeper understanding of how I am living this life and how it connects to deep respect and care for the planet and the web of life.
My working definition of plenty, from the beginning of this post, was wrong. Plenty is not having what we need without over reaching. Plenty is more than enough, a great deal. I know people who are in a cycle of striving for plenty, and many of them have the storage units to support that striving. Plenty is not my goal.
My goal is not to have plenty, in a tangible sense. My goal is to have enough, a sufficient amount so that my way of living, behaving, being in the world, and the choices I make supports a better life for all.
Plenty is what I have within me to continue to strive to live my life in a way that supports all. I have plenty of desire, motivation, compassion, connectedness, wildness, and heart to do it. Yes, I have more than a generous amount.
Here’s how I am using my hand, head, and heart this month.
Here’s how I'm using my hand, head, and heart this month to continue to be the quirky family that has enough.
Hand - Herbalism and traveling light.
When I was about 15 years old I discovered my first essential oil, patchouli. It was the early 1980s and I wore essential oils as perfumes and grew patchouli, lavender, and rosemary in my garden. I loved the smell. I seemed to be the only person I knew who was wearing essential oils (except for people I met at certain music shows….) and growing herbs. I didn’t think much about it; all I knew was that I liked the oils and I liked growing the plants. Essential oils were my gateway to herbalism.
I began to read whatever I could find. And, thank goodness the internet hit and I could watch videos and take online classes with experts. I was amazed that there were so many people who were deeply interested in the same thing as I. It opened up a whole new world of knowledge for me.
I learned that essential oils are the “lifeblood” of a plant. They protect plants from disease and provide nutrients. They can be found in a plant’s flower, stem, leaves, bark, or fruit. They are usually extracted from steam distillation. In each drop of essential oil, there are 40 million trillion molecules. They are so tiny that when we apply a drop to our feet, the oil is absorbed immediately and begins to work. Within 22 seconds, they reach our brain, within 2 minutes our bloodstream, and by 20 minutes our whole body. So much for the 15 year old me just liking the way they smell!
I started playing with herbs and oils and making my own products. Now, when I travel, I travel light when it comes to wellness products.
Soon I’ll be traveling to the opposite side of the country for nine days and I will travel with only one suitcase. It will contain:
rose water- my go-to toner and a refreshing spritz for any time during the day.
olive oil - for washing my face at night.
sea salt - for making a quick body & feet scrub or beachy hair detangler/volumizer.
lavender essential oil - the go-to oil in my portable first aid kit. It just does so much! Topically: soothes burns, cuts, rashes, insect bites. Inhaled: soothes headaches, stress, and exhaustion. In a bath, mixed with a carrier oil: soothes irritated skin due to rashes, sunburns, or multiple insect bites. In a carrier oil: soothes tight, sore muscles. Read more about lavender here.
my homemade deodorant - coconut oil, arrowroot, baking soda, essential oil.
my homemade powder/bronzer - which doubles as a dry shampoo .
It’s important to remove as much out of the production and waste stream as possible so making my own allows me to control for that, as best as I am able. I can ensure the packaging is reclaimed and then reusable, I only make as much as I need, I use herbs that I have grown, and I am careful about sourcing additional ingredients that are sustainably and ethically produced. It’s also great to travel so light!
Head - Library books.
I recently read Seven Steeples by Sara Baume. This beautiful book is the story of a couple, Bell and Sigh, who move to a remote cottage in the Irish countryside. To this cottage they bring with them only what they need and can fit in a van.
Bell and Sigh withdraw from everything and everyone, except for each other, their two dogs, and the farmer (on whose property they live) that they see once a year. They live a minimalist life. Their minimalism is not the minimalism portrayed in magazines or social media. It’s not curated.
Their minimalism is fluid. They are comfortable with the state of the cottage as they found it and make few adjustments to it. They only have what they brought. They acquire second hand furniture, furnishings, and clothes. They construct things they need from found objects. As the house and things begin to fall apart they initially make do until a replacement or solution can be found. As time goes on, though, a shift occurs as they cease to make decisions and take action. They end up with one cup, one toothbrush, and one light bulb. And, then the light bulb burns out.
It’s a story about devotion, disintegration, and resilience. It’s a story about relationship. It’s a story about awareness, nature, landscape, others, and self.
Bell and Sigh did not have plenty, or did they? I’d love to hear your opinion.
Heart - Summer Solstice and Midsummer.
This is a time of celebration. Summer Solstice and Midsummer is the opposite of the Winter Solstice, which for me, is a time of reflection and contemplation. Summer Solstice and Midsummer is a time to gather and celebrate with loved ones. To share the longest moment of daylight and the shortest moment of nighttime in our year. To celebrate the abundance, growth, and life in the world.
There is a tug between feeling and thinking, potential and protection, the magical and the secular during these days. After this, we slowly make our way back towards the darkness that comes in the fall. Combine these celebrations with the International Day of Yoga (June 21), and it has all of the makings for a divine day.
Over the years, our preparation for and celebration of Summer Solstice and Midsummer has included the reading of The Return of the Sun King by Christine Natale, the leaving of gifts for the fairies, and the making of fairy wands, sun candles, herbal oils from plants associated with Solstice (St. John’s Wort, Yarrow, Daisies, Dandelion, Clover, Wild Roses), and bonfires. Now that our children are older they determine our activities for the solstice. At a minimum, I am sure it will involve gardening, a craft, yoga, and a bonfire.
This month my hand, head, and heart practices provide an opportunity to continue to be the quirky family that has enough. To be the family that continues to strive to have enough, a sufficient amount so that our way of living, behaving, being in the world, and the choices we make supports a better life for all. And, as parents, to ensure our children have a framework to be able to make informed choices in their lives when they are living away from us.
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Loved your exploration of "plenty."
My kids called our house an "ingredient house" too. "Mom! There's no food!" 😂