The Ouroboros and Continuous Renewal
How I'm using my hand, head, and heart this month to prepare the way for wholeness and continuous renewal.
This time last year I was getting ready to retire. I had been working from home since turning my keys over to a new principal in July. I told my dear husband that when 1 January 2023 came, I wanted to wake up and have the first thing I saw be water. We made that happen. It was the perfect setting to welcome in the new year and change.
I wanted to take the year to rest, recover, detox, and to begin to germinate something new. I had no idea what that “new” would be. What I did know, was that I needed to ground myself in my new reality, be open to possibilities and ideas, and see what arises and inspires me.
Beginning the Year
I began the year shedding the old, tattered skin I had been wearing since I moved off the island and came into a public school system.
When I moved off of Smith Island 30 years ago, I felt as though my wild, natural skin was removed (see blog post: Lotus #1 — Earth-Nature ). I had moved into an indoor, concrete work life in a male dominated, controlled, bureaucracy. A system built on obedience and fueled by sameness and conformity. Little by little it strangled me, restrained me, and I lost my wildness.
Then, with retirement and crossing the threshold into a new year, I felt that I had been given my skin back. I felt free. All of the stories and titles that I had grown so accustomed to were stripped away — principal, educator, colleague, employee. The aspects of myself that had been pushed down and controlled for so long were now able to roam freely. The stories of shapeshifting women, especially selkies, provided a lens to navigate and consider this new reality (See: March 2023 post: Retirement).
And yet, I wasn’t just putting my former skin on and returning to the water as the selkies did. Something was different. My skin was familiar but different.
A shift occurred around summer. I noticed a new yet familiar skin had grown. I was shedding and leaving behind what I no longer needed. With each daily practice (rituals, meditation, intention, movement, journaling, etc) I was revealing a new authentic piece of myself. Each time, new skin emerged. And it kept happening. Shedding then growth.
As fall approached, someone asked how I felt about retirement and this phase of my life. My spontaneous response was,
“I feel like the ouroboros, continually eating my tail, shedding old skin, growing new skin. I’m transforming. I feel wonderful and at the same time, I feel different.”
My personal wisdom and intuition emerged when I wasn’t thinking about it.
The Ouroboros
The Ouroboros, the ancient symbol of the snake/serpent that eats its own tail, defies time. There are ouroboros tattoos, jewelry, a block chain protocol, a Marvel character, a magazine, a Squish, and, of course, a shaving soap.
I will confess, I am fascinated with the Ouroboros. I first came upon it in readings, at the place where alchemy, herbalism, and fiction intersect. After my response to the person’s question was articulated, I knew I needed to know more about the Ouroboros and to understand what I could learn from it.
The Ouroboros or something similar exists in a vast array of cultures, throughout human history. Just in a quick search I discovered the following.
The Ouroboros associated with Tutankhamen – ‘King Tut’ – in Egypt.
-Egyptian Museum, Cairo: Material from the tomb treasure of king Tutankhamun, 18th dynasty, New Kingdom of Egypt (This file is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license.) “According to leading Egyptologist Jan Assmann, the symbol ‘refers to the mystery of cyclical time, which flows back into itself. The ancient Egyptians understood time as a series of repetitive cycles, instead of something linear and constantly evolving; and central to this idea was the flooding of the Nile and the journey of the sun.’”
The Ouroboros associated with Plato.
The ouroboros is the first being created. “It had no need of eyes, for there was nothing outside it to be seen; nor of ears, for there was nothing outside to be heard.” (Plato- Timaeus, 33 -The Construction of the World)
The Ouroboros associated with the Gnostics.
The Ouroboros associated with Norse mythology.
“In Norse mythology, the serpent Jörmungandr encircles the world with its tail in its mouth,….…”
The Ouroboros associated with Hinduism.
“in Hinduism, the ouroboros forms part of the foundation upon which the Earth rests.”
The Ouroboros associated with Mesoamerica.
“the Mesoamerican deity Quetzalcoatl is often seen in the form of an ouroboros.”
The Ouroboros associated with Renaissance alchemists.
Even Carl Jung weighed in on the symbolism of the Ouroboros.
“The uroboros is a dramatic symbol for the integration and assimilation of the opposite, i.e., of the shadow. This ‘feed-back’ process is at the same time a symbol of immortality, since it is said of the uroboros that he slays himself and brings himself to life, fertilizes himself and gives birth to himself...” (Carl Jung, Collected Works, Vol. 14, para. 513.)
It was clear that I would never be able to fully know the Ouroboros, as there is so much and its site, time, and culturally specific. Yet, it transcends all of the variation as well.
Instead of trying to understand all of its permeations and meanings, I decided to learn about it intuitively, to allow my reading to be what it needed to be, open to listening, let the readings tell me what I needed to know, and see what resonated with me.
Cleopatra the Alchemist
I started where I knew to begin, with Cleopatra the Alchemist.
This Cleopatra is not the famous Cleopatra VII (69-30 BC). The dates of Cleopatra the Alchemtist’s life and death are unknown. What is known is that she was active in Alexandria in the 3rd century or the 4th century.
There are huge gaps in what is known about Cleopatra. Only one single scroll of her writings remain, Cleopatra’s Chrysopoeia. This is essentially an early science text written by a woman! It contains the image of the Ouroboros shown above as well as celestial images, and a drawing of an alembic.
There is also the The Dialogue of Cleopatra and the Philosophers from the Book of Komaris, one of the surviving Greek alchemical manuscripts. I love the visual image that this dialogue creates for me —Cleopatra sitting around with a group of male philosophers, discussing alchemy.
I would normally jump to a suspicion that she was being tested by them. However, Cleopatra was a revered authority in her time. Along with Maria, Taphunita, and Medera, she was one of four women who knew how to make the philosophers’ stone - an elixir that could turn metal to gold and was thought to lead to immortality (Raphael Patai. The Jewish Alchemists: A History and Source Book. p.78). To me, these philosophers seem to have been genuinely curious about what she had to say.
When prompted with questions from them, Cleopatra responded with answers that “were to become alchemical commonplaces: the analogy between the plant kingdom and the distillation process, or that between human birth and the formation of the philosopher’s stone, or the death-resurrection motif,” (page 44). She was a pioneering chemist who laid out her ideas and tools, some of which continue to be used today.
It is this reply to the philosophers that speaks loudest to me:
“When you take plants, elements, and stones from their places, they appear to you to be mature. But they are not mature until the fire has tested them. When they are clothed in the glory from the fire and shining color thereof, then rather will appear their hidden glory, their sought-for beauty, being transformed to the divine state of fusion. For they are nourished in the fire……” (page 45)
Her image of the Ouroboros as renewal and transformation, and the metaphor I see in her words above, speaks to me of the cycles of life. The idea of our minds and very beings as the elements that are transformed through fire. Over time and careful attention, they are transformed into something bright, valuable, and beautiful.
Times and Seasons of Darkness
In times and seasons of darkness we light candles and put up twinkle lights to brighten, and sometimes to burn off the darkness. Yet, “dark” times don’t necessarily mean “bad” times.
Seasonally, right now is a dark time, a time of shorter day light, a time to go slower, to reflect more, to plant seeds for new ideas and actions for when daylight is longer in spring. Dark times are also times of the unkown. A time to go slower, to reflect more, to be open to possibilities and ideas, to see what arises and inspires. Dark times provide opportunities to find a way to wholeness, transformation, and continuous renewal.
This year I entered into the darkness on January 1st as I crossed a threshold into the unknown. I’ve spent the year, detoxing and cleansing myself of 30-years of a wonderful career in a turbulent profession. I have been gentle with myself. I have released that which I carried during that time, and have begun to renew. It’s not a one time process. It’s continuous. Shed and grow anew. I’m going for the gold — something bright, valuable, and beautiful on the other side of the darkness.
Here’s how I am using my hand, head, and heart this month.
Here’s how I'm using my hand, head, and heart this month to prepare the way for wholeness and continuous renewal.
Hand: Winter Holiday Season. We have transitioned from the orange celebrations to red ones - amping up energy, light, beauty, and joy. The winter holiday season begins for us on December 1st and lasts until January 6th. During this time we thread together the traditions of our German, Irish, and Kaschubian ancestors.
The beginning of Advent kicks off our celebrations. The word “Advent” comes from the Latin, “to come,” and has been observed since the fifth century with themes of watchfulness, preparation, and hope. I love the energy around advent. The expectancy, the preparation, the unfailing faith in something good about to happen.
We break December down into its four different weeks and focus on different things each week. Since this is the first week in December, we make the Advent Wreath, deep clean the house, begin decorating, make paper snowflakes and window stars, place candles in the windows facing the street.
As we move through this month, I encourage our children to focus on the mantra they learned many years ago:
Breathe in, the light and love of the season.
Breathe out, embody the light and love of the season.
Holidays can be stressful. We endeavor to welcome advent as a time of peacefulness. We allow ourselves to experience all of our emotions as they arise but we strive to lessen the focus on doing and consuming that is so prevalent. The mantra helps bring us back when we start to get spun up. It also helps us stay focused on our relationship with the world and the web of life.
(Note: I’ll share our practices for Weeks 2, 3, and 4 in the newsletter so be sure you are subscribed)
Head: Stories. The Legend of the Christmas Rose, the Legend of the Poinsettia, the Santa Lucia story, Mr. Willowby’s Christmas Tree, the story of Grýla and her sons, Gwiôzdór and Gwiazdka, and of course, St. Nicholas are all read together throughout this month. It’s not simply the stories that matter; its taking the time to sit down together, listen to the stories, and then talk with each other. (Note: links to the stories are in the newsletter so make sure you have subscribed.)
After reading the St. Nicholas stories, our children place their shoes out the night before December 6th in the hopes that St. Nicholas will pay us a visit. Yes, they still do this at age 18 and age 15. Oranges, walnuts, gold chocolate coins, candy canes, and one special gift magically appear in the morning inside each pair of shoes.
Heart: Solstice. Water, fire, and nature are the things that connect me to energy, awareness, the web of life, and intuition. That's part of why I love this season. Waiting and preparation tied to rituals of water, fire, and nature, and infused in our family holidays and traditions.
The Solstice is exact where I am at 4:19 am on December 21st. Solstice touches me deeply - it is a time of rest, reflection, reconnecting, relearning, and renewal with our deep inner self and our place in the web of life. For our children, it is a time of awareness of the rhythms of the natural world and how we are a part of all of that wonderful magic.
The day will be filled with water, fire, and nature. First, for me, yoga, a long walk, then dry brushing, oiling, and shower. It grounds me for the day. Then we decorate our favorite outside tree with edible treats for our wild animal friends. We will read Sun Bread by Elisa Kleven and make Solstice bread or Yule bread to enjoy by the fire.
We make fire bundles with dried rosemary, dried orange peel, and cinnamon sticks for our fires throughout the winter. Warm, comforting foods are prepared for dinner. If all goes as planned, my evening will culminate with a long milk and herb bath I blend just for Solstice (lavender, rosemary, juniper berry, cedar).
Darkness and light are both so important to the natural rhythm of our lives and the universe so we celebrate both this evening. As we embark on the long, cold winter months ahead it is so reassuring to remember that after the dark there is always light.
The day after the Solstice, we will ease into Winter Break and appreciate the opportunity the Solstice brings to leave things behind, be peaceful, invite in the light, and grow something beautiful on the other side of the darkness.